Degree

After struggling for three years, things has finally marked an end.
There goes my three years of degree.
It was harder than expected to say bye to everyone.
And the most significant and embarrassing thing I've done is cried after clubbing, in the face of three men.
It was stupid enough!

I really thank everyone who came into my life.
Without everyone of them, my degree wouldn't be so memorable.
I've went to Kampar thinking only to complete my degree and leave.
It was that simple, no other thoughts.
When I left Kampar, I brought my degree and more souvenirs along, Love, Friendships and Memories.
Special thanks to my bunch of darlings whom we've cried, laughed, and been through ups and downs together.
I'll love you people forever.
And I wish everyone a bright future ahead.

I've done my three-years planning.
I want and will complete my masters in these three years;
I want and will start my own business;
I want and will equipped myself with talents;
I want and will save a large amount of money as possible;
I want and will travel oversea at least once a year on my own expense;
I want and will buy a car of my own;
And I want and will be independent and happy.

All the best to my degree-mates, and myself!

Regards with LOL,
Bel.

December

It's 1st of December.
It reminds me of Christmas.
Not just me perhaps, it's everyone.
There has been so many of them talking about Christmas as I scrolled on my FB page.
I'd like Christmas even though I am not a Christian.
Simply because it gives me a very happy feeling.

"It's the most wonderful time of the year"

by Andy Williams

A very classical voice.

His voice can really touches your heart.

I don't know him much though.

I came across with this guy few months back.

Because of the song "Moon River" and "Love Story".
Amazing singing and lyrics.

Anyways, Christmas is around.

Hope everyone, especially to those who are celebrating, will enjoy this wonderful month.

Sweet Dreams.

Joys & Worries

Joy.
I have finally handed in my FYP.
It has put a full stop to my degree life.
Last assignment, last presentation, last tutorial, last lecture and last exam.
It's a great relieve if you know what I mean.
A transition to another life stage.

Worries.
1. How will my last last-minute-work mark my degree achievement?
2. How am I going to build up my career?
3. I don't want to grow old, can?

Ciao~

Simply Thank You.

Thank you for being with me when I was caught in the mess.

Thank you for worrying about me.

Thank you for motivating me.

Thank you for not giving me up.

Thank you for being there for me.

I just want you to know I really appreciate everything you did.

Thank you with all love.

你把我灌醉

小的有很久没有更新了。
其实有一点很没有头绪要写什么，然后看了几个小朋友的blog有点感触。
所以！所以！就用华语来写了。嘻嘻~

近这两个礼拜真的很忙很忙。
每天都只睡四，五个小时而已。
都托FYP的福，赶啊赶啊。
就不停的在赶，唉，临时抱佛脚是这样的啦。
这样的生活还要熬多一个礼拜。
再来个考试，小的的人生又要步入另一个阶段了。
真的不可以不认老了。
但是还是很开心，因为可以和那群朋友度过。
NKT，CSG，KGW，KKH，LSX，CZY，LPY，TSF，LYC，COY，辛苦你们了，谢谢。

昨天跟了大家去看戏，《那些年》。
真的很有感触，加上某&某看到哭，结果三个傻婆哭到 fi 哩 fe 叻的。
可是真的很好看。
那首毕业歌一播，小的就开始眼湿湿了。
小的觉得故事还好而已，反而是里头的那些小细节让小的有感触吧。
一些让大家忆起陈年往事的情节，一些大家都希望会发生在自己身上的情节。
（有点在听黑胶唱片的感觉~）

小的很喜欢“回忆”的感觉。
换句话说，其实“回忆”对小的而言很重要。
因为想当年某些因素，其实小的是没有童年，也没有青春的。
这是小的人生大大的遗憾啊。唉~

这几天和这几年，小的学会了几个人生的大大道理。
#小一，过去的遗憾就让它住进回忆里。把今天活得好，写在历史里。
#小二，四个字，人情世故。
#小三，BE CONTENDED AND SHOW GRATITUDE.

夜里，回忆和思念把我灌醉。
*蔡琴，恰是你的温柔-ing*

Loaded, Bloated.

It's been almost a month since I last written down anything.

#1
It's been a month since semester ended. Have practically done nothing in this 4 weeks. One week to Malacca, one week back to Kampar to do my assignment, 2 weeks home doing nothing but eat, sleep, net surfing and badminton. It really sucked doing nothing throughout the 2 weeks, but what the heck, it's my last semester break. :))

#2
Really wanna cry for my results. Simply disappointed, but it wont change the fact. Last semester, how am I going to cope it?

#3
FYP. I don't like you. I hate you. But you are too important to me, so I have to Love you. Please, let us work things out kay.

#4
My urge to have my own baby is growing everyday. I simply love babies. Waiting to have my own baby. A silly thought came across my mind once, to get knocked up and be a single mother. How silly.
Although I like being in a relationship, but somehow it scares me a lil. Have not been handling my past relationships well, so the feeling of insecure is there.
Well, I am awaiting for the right one to come by with no rush even though the baby-urge is strong. Someone taught me that things can wait until the time comes. :))

#5
I wanna go Melb, Swiss, Sin, Taiwan and many places. Next year, I'll start realizing them one by one. Melb will be the first stop! :)
And I really have to make up some reunion plans with the long-lost friends.


Auf Wiedersehen und Bis Dann
Love, Bel.

Reflecting.

I don't think I am a very kind nor positive person.
Sometime, or maybe all the times, I am somewhat self-centered.
I am definitely not a very low profile person.
And my very low EQ is not doing me any good.
I strongly believe that my childhood shaped what I am today.
(am I blaming my parents indirectly?)
Despite of the past, what is best to do now is learn to be a BetterMan and Love Life.

Short messages :

0.5. I think I fell into your trap. Will you guide me through it?

Hi-Bye Friend? Just a few words for you, things don't just happened like that. Do some reflective thinking on your own behaviors and do use a bit of your brain. Not trying to be sarcastic or harsh, but you really do need it. You are a decent girl, but your -ve overtaken the +ve.

People. Do enlighten me if I have irrationals. It may take some time for me to adapt and change, however I really would appreciate it. If you feel awkward telling me in face, do drop me a sms. Thank you and cheers.


Feel My Heartbeat
Aal Izz Well.

Mid-Autumn Festival

今天是农历中秋节，愿大家中秋节快乐，人月两团圆！


这三年来，几乎每逢佳节，我人都在外地。
偶尔还真的想念在家里过节的日子。

虽然如此，我和屋友们还是有庆祝一番。
三更半夜去打包了一大堆下酒菜，喝酒庆祝。
至于月饼呢，我们下午就吃了。 哈哈！
所以，陪酒的月饼是从怡保运来的"omochi"。
(谢谢peh ling!)
Smurfed the day!

use of alcohol! 

and "other drugs"!

see the green and purple 'omochi'? that's our "mooncake"!

出色废人五人组！

playing "truth or dare"!

*shall never play this game anymore!

candles and beers.

There goes our lantern/ mid-autumn/ mooncake fest!

It was smurfingly fun and smurfingly horrible!

Hahaha! 

Thank you to the Crazy-5 for giving me such memorable and crazy memory!

Love you guys loads. F4 + BFF!

Feel My HeartBeat.

Aal Izz Well.

Exam Exam Exam

After 8months away from exam, we are finally sitting in the exam hall AGAIN.

This is the first time ever I felt the stress so so so much.
Worse than the previous time.
So much that I became nervous and unable to stay rational.
I got mad with my "0.5" and my sis.
Sorry, ngo ngm hei tuck dang ga.

I didn't do well in my Social Psy.
Lack of time to answer and have not studied enough.
Must do better in the coming papers!!
*Fighting!
Awaiting for tomorrow~~

Short Messages:

J, Please stop. It's not going to work. Enough is enough. Don't push me, I am not ready. Not your problem, but mine. Sorry.

Black Salad, Thank you for being all ears for me throughout the week. Really appreciate. Thanks. Love you. =)

Egg, I am really really happy for you. Love. =)

"0.5", Hope things will get better with You. I really see you trying. Thank you. Heartsss.


Feel My HeartBeat.
Aal Izz Well.

Irrational

*do ignore my grammatical error*

#During the night.

Feeling better after study group.

Had some laugh over there.

People,

I am not angry, really.

Many unexpected came up.

All at the same time.

I couldn't digest it yet.

Sorry if I've upset anyone.

I didn't mean it.

Really Sorry Sorry.

I'll bounce back soon.

Feel my HeartBeat

Aal Izz Well.

Disappointment

Feeling so disappointed with myself.
Really cannot stand anymore.

Why I am always so SoZai to believe in people around me so easily?
Why weren't I learn to be more smart?
Why did I allowed myself to be fooled?
Why Why Why?

It's not the first time to be in these kinda situations.
I really don't like it.
I hate it.
My furious is not aggressive.
I just want to cry to release my furious.

How to become Smarter?
How to Trust the Right person?
I feel useless.
I don't want to become SoZai anymore.

I really want to cry.
I really need to cry.
I just want to cry out loudly.
Can I cry?
How to Cry?

Today I don't feel well.
My heart is not well.

Runaway

A runaway to the unfamiliar.
It was totally great.
I enjoyed.
Thank you for bringing me there.

It was an amazing experience.
To get in touch with the big family.
To step into a warm, fun and nice environment.
Although it wasn't all favorable scene.
But they were all very down to earth experiences.
I'd really enjoyed it. =))
(Yes, including the left alone part.)

The main reason joining the family occasion was mainly to see the full-month baby girl. =)
Her name is Kiddie.
She is a very active and notty little baby.
She is really very cute, she cries when she bath and stop right after finish bathing. =D
Kiddie is the first 3rd generation of the family.
Which means she is currently the "pearl in the palm" (掌上明珠）.

Day 1 - Stepping into the house~

(Isn't she just adorableeeeeeee~)

Day 4 - The Big Family Dinner.

Pieces of the Dinner~

(Trying to fit as much as possible into one piece =P)

Lovely trip.

Hoping for the next one.

Feel My HeartBeat.

Aal Izz Well.

Heavy Hearted

Guten Tag!

It was such a heavy morning.

Said goodbye to my beloveds.

Heart felt so heavy when we were waiting for the bus to arrive.

Saying goodbye became so hard for the first time.

Felt so much like crying when I see them leaving.

They are just going back home for the weekend but somehow it felt so different.

As though we are leaving this place and don't know when are we meeting again.

I don't like this kinda feeling.

I'll be alright after a lil while, everyone will be.

Because we are constantly adapting to the changes of environment and surroundings.

That's why we have to appreciate what we have at the present.

I am missing everyone!!

Feel My HeartBeat.

Aal Izz Well.

Confession

I am a lil confused with what's happening around me.
Sometimes I think I am too sensitive.
And I'll either stay silence or I just don't give a damn.
But what is it to me is not what it is to others.
Well, I just hope things get better sooner or later.

A Friend,
Hope you will be fine and find the balance in everything.
If I so happened to upset you,
I am really sorry.

Someone,
If you so happened to read this, yes, I am writing for you.
Sorry for what happened. It's been almost 2months.
Hope you are doing well. Do take care.

You,
How are you?
You really scare me the other night.
I hope you are doing really fine and happy with life and work.
I miss you THAT much, you know it well.
Talk to me more or let me talk more to you yea. =)

D,
You know what I want.
But there are so much complications.
BTW, looking forward to see her.
=)

Feel My HeartBeat.
Aal Izz Well.

Light Bulb Moment #2

When we are having a very tired physical,
Do Not Try To Solve Any Problem.

Very tired physical is to say after a big round of work or entertainment.
Not the after-work-out/exercise type of exhaustion.
It's the kind where you have used up all your brain juice or emotion.
*I find exercising refreshes mind and body. =)

Why?
I'd realized when I came down with such condition,
I'll become very emotionally unstable.
My mind became Even more irrational than it used to be during normal times.
Sometimes these irrationality made me cry.

I am not sure if it applies to everyone,
but logically I think it does.

So when you are exhausted, rest your mind and body before you continue your work.
Hit the gym, meditate or take a nap would really help.


Feel my HeartBeat.
Aal Izz Well.

Small Relief

This semester has finally come to an end.
All assignments have been presented and handed up.
Applied psychology was especially tiring.
It's time to concentrate on finals and FYP.
I hate FYP like hell.
Hope I can cope with it well and graduate smoothly!

I skipped my practice for 3 days.
Simply too tired.
Must continue tomorrow!

Luckily today is public holiday, so I get to have a good rest.
Yet I still have to be driver early in the morning. :')

*Sun will shine again after the rain.

Sleep.
Feel my Exhaustion.
Aal Izz Well.

Tired

Felt exhausted lately.
Is my body dysfunctioning or what?
Today, is especially tired.
Did so much things.
Finally I can sleep earlier tonight.
I know it's still late, but this is the best I can go so far~
Need to improve my lifestyle.

To You,
Thank you for telling me.
And don't tempt me, I can't resist.

Nightzzz.
Feel my HeartBeat.
Aal Izz Well.

Happy Chinese Valentines

Today is Chinese Valentines Day.
Girls have another reason to celebrate with their loves one. =P

This day actually falls on the 7th day of the 7th  lunar month in the Chinese calender. A Chinese ancient love story where the 7th daughter of the Goddess of Heaven, ZhiNu fall in love with an orphaned cowherd, NiuLang. Her mother, Goddess of heaven found out and demanded her to return to heaven. NiuLang was told by his ox to kill it and put on its skin to reach ZhiNu. They finally met but, the Goddess got angry and scratched a wide river in the sky to separate the two lovers forever, forming the Milky way between Altair and Vega. The magpies in the world would take pity on them and fly up to heaven, forming a bridge on this day once a year so the lovers may be together for a single night.

I didn't bother to take note of this day.
Because I am Single. XD
Spent my whole day with my Family.
Bla Bla Bla.
My mind is so blank now. Hehe.
Needa go "gao gao chu", because tomorrow need to wake up earlier than my dad to wash my 'aeroplane'~

NightzZzz peeps~
七夕情人节快乐~
*MSH, I want to celebrate valentines day with you~! ♥ *

Feel my Heartbeat,
Aal Izz Well.

Light Bulb Moment #1

不看，不闻，不理，不想，不不不。

原来也可以是很好的良药。

=))

Another Month

It's touching the month of August.
Time flies, so fast.
It felt like CNY just ended (over exaggeration XD ).

Looking at the thinning calender reminds me of my age.
Two days back, heard a caller called in to 988,
Saying she has reached the age to support her family, need to build a career.
because she's ALREADY 19 for goodness sake!
Me and my mates stoned.
Not because she has a "matured thought", opposite instead.
She just didn't want to study anymore.
She has no idea what she wants, her interest.
Practically knowing nothing about herself.
Sigh.

It's time to review my dream NOW!
Graduating this year means I will step into the working world in 5months time.
And I am still not prepared.
Have to get myself prepared already!
*Fighting!

*single eyelid*

beL
Aal Izz Well
=))

Reminding Myself

My mind couldn't stop thinking about it.
But I have to remind myself
Aal Izz Well.
Don't give up.
You can do it!

The sun will shine again~!

Aal Izz Well.
=))

Be Strong!!!

I am very fragile.
If you have known me, you will get what I mean.
I really need to be strong and critical.
Not saying that I cannot stand on my own feet
but every time when something hit me
I fall apart easily
and would take a long time to stand up again.
I don't like this, I must be strong.

*Supposed this is one of the reason.*

I have 5months to train myself.
Equipped myself in becoming Confidence and Stronger.

*梁文音，我不是你想象那么坚强*

I know I can do it!
*this time is for real, no more collapsing!!*
Because there are people around that will support me.
Even though they might not be beside me all the time.
Even though there is just one person.
I think they will me happy for me when I really grow up.
Isn't it? =))

Today is the 3rd month.
I am still counting the days although it ****s.

I miss you, msh!
and YOU too!!
: ))

Aal Izz Well

Fragile Mood

It was supposed to be a joyful day
as we visit to Hospital Bahagia (a.k.a Tanjung Rambutan),
the biggest mental illness hospital in m'sia.
Because we are going to experience and learn new things.

Somehow things just didn't go right for us,
the poor time management made us rush like mad,
the weather was evil,
all sort of stuff happened.

*Zee Avi, Bitter Heart*

*a very relaxing voice recommended by WJ*

Moods got heavier with some extra spices added.
Arguments and misunderstandings.
Made people almost collapse.
Neither a soft nor a sentimental song can cure.
I just wish there is a shoulder that I can lean on,
15minutes will do.
Is that too much to ask for?

Today, I need You. :'(

Adapting

I am getting used to my New Life.

I want to live on my own

Learn to Love myself before loving You.

I don't know who You will be

because You live in Future.

Now I need to learn to live my life

be Gratitude to what I have

and Love people around me.

*ordinary miracle*

*life is like a gift they say, wrapped up for you everyday*

Kept reminding myself

to appreciate Life

Learn and Love Life.

=))

Aal Izz Well.

Motivation

Been through many happenings lately.

Happy and Sad.

So much of it that I can barely breath.

But I had something to hold on.

Because I still believe.

*I'll be strong again =))*

I'll have to live on my own now.

It's like cooking a dish of my own choice.

Not adding anything of other's choice but my own.

I am Learning.

Looking at the bright side,

I still have my Family

who supported me unconditionally.

I still have my Friends

who listened to me when I needed them.

I still have a Future

where I will paint it with my Family and Friends.

I'll let go of Fear

because it held me back from moving on

because  it held me back from being who I am

because it does me no good.

To all my Family and Friends out there

Thank you for showing your support when I needed You.

You are my Motivation to live better.

Thank You.

With all Love,

Aal Izz Well

Overwhelmed

A very very long and honest talk

with a friend who paid a surprised visit after she graduated.

The last time seeing her was on her graduation ceremony.

。

One topic in common will let you heat another pot of tea.

Somehow it felt so much better talking to someone who is in the same boat.

Empathy takes place easily and makes each felt warm.

It helps but not too much though.

The best medicine is still Time.

。

*They walked me through this adventure, but I left them*

。

A great adventure to Gua Tempurung with course mates.

It wasn't too tiring for me,

but everyone seemed exhausted. =P

The expedition took 3.5hours.

Stairs > Rocks > Water > Sand

Ain't a sand-lover,

but did the Best completing it.

。

Credits doesn't belong to me

but my mates.

They shown the power of Teamwork and Friendship.

Special thanks to "Kacang" and "Rojak"

They held my hands through the journey.

Thank You.

。

Time to get back to work after all the fun.

*photos taken from TY, thanks*

Aal Izz Well.

Habits

There are things that I will still do

Simply because they are habits

No other reasons ( ok, maybe some)

Actions come before thoughts

Sometimes it's amazing to see how human behave.

These automatic functioning just take place without realizing.

There is a psychological term for this, but it hasn't come across my mind, yet. :P

Habits will change

Pain will go

Nothing to fear

It's just the matter of time

We learn from every happening event

They are called lessons

And they are stored in Memory

With Love,
Aal Izz Well

We grew up with these

Memories recall

Sweet in hearts

Smiles on faces

We walked together

We ran together

We smiled together

We loved together

We Friends FOREVER~

we're all in this together~

the four heavenly kings~

happy family~

sisters forever~

little things in life~

Aal Izz Well

Regret

On the girl's birthday, the only thing the boyfriend did was wishing her 'happy birthday'.
That was all, 3 birthdays.

Deep in the girl's heart, she was so desperate to have her boyfriend to celebrate her birthday for her, at least once.
But
This wish will forever be a regret.

Trust

After one day of calming down and numb my mind with other things, I managed to calm the heart down.
This morning when I woke up, my first thought was that issue.
But I told myself to have faith with it.
I trusted.

...

After calming down and re-read the post,
have I been too sensitive?
or
I hit the bull's eye?

I really don't know.
I just hope there would be an answer for me.

Dilemma

Couldn't reach a balancing point.
I wish I am able to hear the answer.

Have you been completely honest?
What exactly are you having in mind?

Felt totally confused now.
Couldn't breath.
Desperate for the answer.
I don't want anything.
Just the answer will do.
To feed my curiosity maybe.

I am confused now.
Couldn't produce anything.
I kept telling myself to believe.
Trying very hard.
But my heart and brain are just so fragile and weak.

I guess I'll just go to bed.
Aal izz well.
Aal izz well.

Back to KC

Went back to KC today. mainly to collect my cheque.
Saw lots of familiar faces which then reminded me that I used to be sitting in that office for 5 whole months.
Simply misses those days.

Felt guilty because I visited in a hurry and have not bring any "hand letters" back.
Told myself must visit again and with handful of gifts. Haha.

I miss the kids so much. :(

Aal Izz Well.

It's a beautiful day

It’s A Beautiful Day 

熟悉的花店滲著香氣

昨天應該很刺鼻

 路邊的光景我從不理　

卻察覺有份明媚 

難堪別離　遲歸晚起　

因信奉缺憾美交上了傷悲

 沉溺後期　能吃不味　

一瞬直覺贈我重生的勇氣 

It’s A Beautiful Day　我竟不知 

It’s A Beautiful Day　驗證一次 

雨後陽光的意義　微笑過日子 

It’s A Beautiful Day　換上新衣 

It’s A Beautiful Day　別再失意 

製造人間的美事　才算有大志 

人觀入微　有驚有喜　

於碎事細部裡找到了心機 

留些日期　遊覽天地　

陰雨亦覺是美才可找到你 

It’s A Beautiful Day　我竟不知 

It’s A Beautiful Day　驗證一次 

雨後陽光的意義　微笑過日子 

It’s A Beautiful Day　這裡開始 

It’s A Beautiful Day　沒有終止

 這是奇蹟的意義　微笑裡會意 

In Every Way　Enjoy The Day

After 3 months

It's been so long again since I last left words here. It's time to pick up the words.

Many things happened throughout this period of time. 3months is neither short or a long period, but many things changed. It's 360degree changes. Anyhow, things changed and will not go back to what it was at the first place, so I'll just accept it and live through it. =)

Today I went campus to see my supervisor for FYP.

Things went well, Mr. Yusof was very helpful. Thanks.

I had a short chat with the person who drove me around.

Was a meaningful chat. I am still amazed with that brain seriously.

Things I've learned from the talk:-

We all changed, grown matured (a bit).

If you don't realized it means you have not been thinking about it.

True. Couldn't deny this fact.

I supposed I need to work harder on my brain. Yaicks.

Aal Izz Well.

Convo

Attended the first convo ever, which will be the last one I'll be going without taking mine own's into account. It was very tiring. Waited for so long. The weather was very bad, but luckily there was no hot sun.

Felt so much in attending it, although it was only the after-ceremony. Seeing many of them being proud to graduate is something that excites me. I hope mine will be like that.

Met with a few Kampar friends, treated them lunch, which was great. The first time I felt so great paying the bill. HaHa. After lunch, went to the ceremony venue. Saw so many parents with flowers and soft toys in hand. Found my graduated friends, took pictures. Glad and happy for them.

Saw sis there. Said hi and congratz to her. She said congratz back to me. I laughed. She is witty. I knew what she was thinking. She knew what to do. Saw you too. I was afraid to walk up and say hi. So I did nothing. Pain grew. I was wondering if you'd saw me, what will you do?

Looking forward to my own graduation, at the same time hoping not to graduate so fast. Studying is better than anything.

So sleepy, good night.

SICK

OMG!
Tmr will be the day to CH but I am not feeling well!
I don't want!
Need to recover ASAP!
Please!

I will be fine! I will be fine! I will be fine*fingers crossed*

School Holiday!!!

Not my sem break, but school holiday!!
It felt like going back to the school life.
It's true that I am in school life.
Just one difference.
I am a teacher rather than student!
It's felt so great.

Going to Cameron Highland on Tuesday.
Not really my best destination to travel.
Unfinished business.
But, it's a free trip.
HAHAHA.
I'll enjoy it!!
And get souvenirs!

Cheers~!

Happy Ending?

I didn't see that coming so soon. It was way sooner than I thought.

It's a fact that I've been running away from it for so long. 

How I wish I have not came for this trip.

 Maybe it wont happened. 

But is it really true? 

My mind at this point is empty.

 I couldn't think of anything.

 It's so messy, it's so blank.

 I can't feel anything. 

I am so blurred.

I beg for forgiveness and just hope things weren't the same. 

When I saw that message, my heart sour badly. 

I really didn't see that coming. 

Because of what you have told me at the beginning, I never expect you will have such decision.

 I cried. 

The feeling of pain grew.

When you hinted me about it, I think it was the best thing I've ever done.

 I held my emotions and held my tears. 

I didn't ruin the dinner, which is opposite to how I usually would react. 

With only one hope, hoping that you would take it back.

Hoping that you had never say it.

But will you?

Suddenly

Out of all sudden, I received a text like that. I don't like it. I hate people to force me this way. I don't mind others making decision for  me, but not this way. I have already said not now, give me some time. I dunno what I can do anymore.

I can just say LEAVE ME ALONE.

Blogging

Every time I wanted to blog, I end up saving the post as draft. Since my last posted blog post, I now have 5 drafts. I wanted to write, but somehow for some reasons, the words couldn't come out. This time I decided to just throw anything I have in mind without any concerns. But am I allowed to do so?

Whatever.

In short, 很烦。

So many thing needed to be taken into consideration. But just one that appears to be very important to me. I can't stop thinking about it. It's bugging me because it's important to me. There are times I wanted to give up, but I told myself that I cannot give at this point. After so much of hard work and time spent in it, I'll regret if I walk away. But is walking away this game the best solution? I am still struggling.

Work. I am quite happy with my work in spite of the little conflict on the sensitive topic. I'll get used to it in no time(I believe that!), the rest so far so good. Colleagues are friendly as far as I am concerned. Students are no doubt hard to handle, classes from A all the way to L. They are just headaches. But they also have their cute and nice sides, just need more patience! I can do it!

Ohh! There is one HUGE matter that I am caught in. Big TROUBLE I am in. I just dunno how to settle it. But I'll try my best to not fall apart regardless how helpless I feel! POSITIVE ENERGY! Haik Haik!! =)

Just hope things will get better and everyone stays healthy and happy! =)))

Till then,
Auf Wiedersehen