Adapting Into The New

This morning I woke up crying. Because I have had a bad dream, a dream that I've once had before. I haven't been sleeping well these few days due to the new environment as I've moved into a new house with my friends. Will get through it in a few days time.

This semester would be a different semester as compared to the previous 3semesters. Firstly, I will really have to study hard to boost up my CGPA. And a friend said will be helping me with it, thanks. Secondly, it's my second year of degree. It could be considered as a new start. Lastly, I want to live more differently. Not as having just a plain life like before, but something that is worth to be marked in my history.

2010 RESOLUTION

I was thinking to write something that isn’t so…… Something more cheerful perhaps, something that when one reads it, there will be laughter or smile. I was thinking of my New Year resolution.

I’ve only started to make resolution last year. Not to say I’d never do it in the past, I’ve done it once when I was in senior 1. It was actually an English exercise. I was pretty shy with what I’d planned to achieve, and I don’t recall any of it that I’ve accomplished.

So here is the list of my 2010 resolution.

1. I got to really work my ass out in studies. No more time to have fun. I am too old for that. And also read the 10 novels I’ve bought before the coming semester ends!
2. Lose weight of course!! I am like the fattest cow on earth for goodness sake! Anyway, I am pretty much proud to shout out loud here. LOLX
3. Ok, the third one should learn to love myself more, which I have actually started to do so since the previous relationship. I mean I’ve gained slightly more confidence in myself, and I am proud of myself and the one who had helped me too!
4. Be healthier!!! Sleep early!!! Don’t want any more doctor’s appointments. And no more tests!!
5. This should be learning something new. I don’t think I am as versatile as some of my friends, so I want to learn something new. Belly dance perhaps? (ok, you can laugh all you want, I am cool seriously).
6. Get myself a BOYFRIEND!!! HAHA
7. Hrmm… oh oh oh, I know I know, save more money, meaning spend less!!
8. Get myself a part time please!! I am really gonna neeed the money.
9. Train my vocal for goodness sake!! I don’t want her to introduce me to her friend like saying “this is christabel, with the ‘鸡仔声’.”
10. Last one. Count my blessings it would be!!

Ten is a lot I am going to say! =D

I’ll do my best to achieve all of them, with every help I will be receiving from my family and friends!! I LOVE YALL!!!

p/s: hope yall enjoy reading!

Break Down

It all started since I came back from my Penang trip. It has been bad and the worst was to look strong outside and smile. I knew I would have a break down anytime soon and it all happened this morning before I went to bed which was 2am in the morning. It was the first time I'd really cried again since I stopped crying about a month ago.

I broke down, I cried, I felt pain, I was and am still depressed. The feeling sucks. Grey's Anotomy is helping it grow. I am such a dumb ass to keep watching it, but I just can't help myself.

What should I do now. I don't want to be happy, but I wanted happiness to be with others, at least be with him. That's the least I am asking for. Hope he's happy, smiling and living the life he wants. And me being able catch a glimpse. "noh H+!m 3^ol u! ll!+s wv I"