After 3 months

It's been so long again since I last left words here. It's time to pick up the words.

Many things happened throughout this period of time. 3months is neither short or a long period, but many things changed. It's 360degree changes. Anyhow, things changed and will not go back to what it was at the first place, so I'll just accept it and live through it. =)

Today I went campus to see my supervisor for FYP.

Things went well, Mr. Yusof was very helpful. Thanks.

I had a short chat with the person who drove me around.

Was a meaningful chat. I am still amazed with that brain seriously.

Things I've learned from the talk:-

We all changed, grown matured (a bit).

If you don't realized it means you have not been thinking about it.

True. Couldn't deny this fact.

I supposed I need to work harder on my brain. Yaicks.

Aal Izz Well.

Convo

Attended the first convo ever, which will be the last one I'll be going without taking mine own's into account. It was very tiring. Waited for so long. The weather was very bad, but luckily there was no hot sun.

Felt so much in attending it, although it was only the after-ceremony. Seeing many of them being proud to graduate is something that excites me. I hope mine will be like that.

Met with a few Kampar friends, treated them lunch, which was great. The first time I felt so great paying the bill. HaHa. After lunch, went to the ceremony venue. Saw so many parents with flowers and soft toys in hand. Found my graduated friends, took pictures. Glad and happy for them.

Saw sis there. Said hi and congratz to her. She said congratz back to me. I laughed. She is witty. I knew what she was thinking. She knew what to do. Saw you too. I was afraid to walk up and say hi. So I did nothing. Pain grew. I was wondering if you'd saw me, what will you do?

Looking forward to my own graduation, at the same time hoping not to graduate so fast. Studying is better than anything.

So sleepy, good night.

SICK

OMG!
Tmr will be the day to CH but I am not feeling well!
I don't want!
Need to recover ASAP!
Please!

I will be fine! I will be fine! I will be fine*fingers crossed*

School Holiday!!!

Not my sem break, but school holiday!!
It felt like going back to the school life.
It's true that I am in school life.
Just one difference.
I am a teacher rather than student!
It's felt so great.

Going to Cameron Highland on Tuesday.
Not really my best destination to travel.
Unfinished business.
But, it's a free trip.
HAHAHA.
I'll enjoy it!!
And get souvenirs!

Cheers~!

Happy Ending?

I didn't see that coming so soon. It was way sooner than I thought.

It's a fact that I've been running away from it for so long. 

How I wish I have not came for this trip.

 Maybe it wont happened. 

But is it really true? 

My mind at this point is empty.

 I couldn't think of anything.

 It's so messy, it's so blank.

 I can't feel anything. 

I am so blurred.

I beg for forgiveness and just hope things weren't the same. 

When I saw that message, my heart sour badly. 

I really didn't see that coming. 

Because of what you have told me at the beginning, I never expect you will have such decision.

 I cried. 

The feeling of pain grew.

When you hinted me about it, I think it was the best thing I've ever done.

 I held my emotions and held my tears. 

I didn't ruin the dinner, which is opposite to how I usually would react. 

With only one hope, hoping that you would take it back.

Hoping that you had never say it.

But will you?

Suddenly

Out of all sudden, I received a text like that. I don't like it. I hate people to force me this way. I don't mind others making decision for  me, but not this way. I have already said not now, give me some time. I dunno what I can do anymore.

I can just say LEAVE ME ALONE.

Blogging

Every time I wanted to blog, I end up saving the post as draft. Since my last posted blog post, I now have 5 drafts. I wanted to write, but somehow for some reasons, the words couldn't come out. This time I decided to just throw anything I have in mind without any concerns. But am I allowed to do so?

Whatever.

In short, 很烦。

So many thing needed to be taken into consideration. But just one that appears to be very important to me. I can't stop thinking about it. It's bugging me because it's important to me. There are times I wanted to give up, but I told myself that I cannot give at this point. After so much of hard work and time spent in it, I'll regret if I walk away. But is walking away this game the best solution? I am still struggling.

Work. I am quite happy with my work in spite of the little conflict on the sensitive topic. I'll get used to it in no time(I believe that!), the rest so far so good. Colleagues are friendly as far as I am concerned. Students are no doubt hard to handle, classes from A all the way to L. They are just headaches. But they also have their cute and nice sides, just need more patience! I can do it!

Ohh! There is one HUGE matter that I am caught in. Big TROUBLE I am in. I just dunno how to settle it. But I'll try my best to not fall apart regardless how helpless I feel! POSITIVE ENERGY! Haik Haik!! =)

Just hope things will get better and everyone stays healthy and happy! =)))

Till then,
Auf Wiedersehen