My NightMare

If given a chance to go back to the past, where would you go?

I've always wanted to restart from secondary school.

But now I don't. Because one year ago, I did something that was very bad.

Every time reminded with this past, my heart's filled with regrets and sorrow.

Where was my rational? Why did I take that step? Can I change it?

I was only glad that I'd stop it before it became worst.

But there are things that couldn't stop no matter how.

I've tried my very best to avoid, to recover, to learn, and to change.

But just when you thought the scar is fading, then a mosquito came and suck your blood right on top of it and it's swollen again.

It's all coming back to me, it's my sin.

I've not been sleeping well every time it shows up.

I had bad dreams, my back aches, my neck sores.

It gave me anxiety, because i don't know what will happen next.

I can only assume, predict and prevent.

It felt like being haunted.

What do you want? Please stop it.

I've learnt a very expensive lesson in life.

My decision making ability is weakened.

My fear has grown.

But I will fight with it!

Hope I can catch some good sleep tonight.

Aal Izz Well.