The End

There is nothing else that I can do since I've decided to let go. I know it very well deep in my heart. I need to face the reality. I have pushed myself to face the reality. I've put myself in the state to witness the truth with my bare eyes. Witnessing the truth was not easy at all. Yes, it almost killed me. But I managed to stand up again after the fall, with all the help from people around me. I would like to thank them here. I'd never thought I would received all these supports.

Here, I am awaken and given the guts to write it down. Even though I wanted to be sport and act like it was not affecting me. *yes, you've won this round.* However, I am a creation of nature that has all senses and nerves functioning damn well. I feel the pain. It really hurts. There ain't any reason for me to hide my feelings. I've cried over and over again every time I recall these painful memories. As the memories were wonderful as it were, the more pain I could feel. Let alone seeing the reality with my bare eyes.

I have realised that the cause of my pain don't not see the pain I suffered. That alone is another wound to me. Once again I felt like a fool. Shall I put it this way, the function of a knife is to cut or to slice things apart. Hence, it will not feel anything. It may sound harsh, but I'm not trying to be a bitch here. I am writing all these down and publishing them because I want to be fair to someone who deserved to know. And I would like to caution everyone that sometimes certain words and expressions and actions will be taken and interpreted in a serious manner. Even though it was said or done with the playing motive, but different people have different percertions and ways of interpretation. Things can get very bad when it is wrongly taken in.

All things shall end here. We have to move on and live our life. There shan't be any thing dragging or holding our life progress. For what had happened, we can't change any bit of it. But for what will be in future, it's all in up to us to make a different out of it. I am letting go everything. All I hope is to "preserve" all memories before they are rotten. I really don't want to make things worse. Let what is it be and move on.

"The time that we really grow is when we are uncomfortable."

This is a line that I received via sms from an anonymous insurances agent. I find it really touching as it came at the right time. Every time after I cried, I felt bit of relief. And I am able to perform slightly better than before. I grew.

beL