Sunday, September 6, 2009

Tired With Lies

Things have been so different these days. Many things changed. Thought was glad with all these changes, but untill a while before writing this post, just realised how stupid it was to have all these so called "good changes" thoughts. Happy that all the new explored information was found after a conversation with a friend. The conversation changed the way that things should be view. And another really special friend that should be thanked too. This friend spared his ears for the most needed one (although he started to feel annoyed supposed, sorry and thanks).


So, these all started when an urge inside decided to do something that is practically against the law. It's a bit similar to reading someone else's dairy. Know it's wrong doing it, but couldn't resist the ID not to do it. Knowing that it's will also cause tears, yet still continued. Sometimes human being is just so overtaken by the "ID". And so the reading continues but the guilt is haunting. Somehow it was weird because there were lots of words and it was impossible to go through all. However the "essense" of almost everything (if nothing was missed out) "popped up" as mouse rolled down. Did the God want the truth to be revealed? To tell stop being a stupid. Or maybe not.


Anyhow, glad with the new explored. Realised there were lots of lies lied beneath. The heart is pain, it's bleeding, it's broken into pieces, but it's not as pain. The only explaination that can be given is "How much more stupid and naive can one still go?". It hurts but not as pain, maybe it was already broken into pieces and it wont feel too much even if it's being stabbed a few more times. If the whole thing is meant to be this way, then just let it be. If being confronted makes no changes then accepting it will be the only way. The heart is numb now. It is tired with the lies and fed up with it. When lies kept on coming, doing anything more serve no good.


Bet it is really true that what we get at the end is not as important as what we've been through. The process of putting things together is the essense and the essential part of everything. So we should learn from the process, not just the result we get. We stand up from where we fall with no fear and aiming for a better one. That's what and how life should be.


Decision has been made long time ago, but there wasn't enough courage to spill it out. Waiting for the bottom line to be touched and the fire will be lighted. There goes the end of the story. No more lies and distrust.

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