I felt very sorry for him because I always messed things up. I was the one to say keep things low but it turned out that everything is spreading out from my side.
Questions have been pondering in my mind. For the past one or two years, I have been showered with happiness and not a bit that I am appreciating it. Why? He has taught me a lot of things, correcting the way that should used to see the happenings. Teaching me how to appreciate my life, things that I have, enlighten me what a life I am living. I learn a lot by just talking to him, and I will not imagine how much I will gain if I am with him. It felt very comfortable talking to him. Like a big brother leading the sister, teaching and reminding what and how to do. No stress at all.
I am willing to give both a chance to make things work. But at times I felt I don't deserve to be loved by such a good person. I am not good. He deserved someone who is better, more tolerate and understanding. I am aware that I have no rights to judge what am I to him, but I am afraid I will hurt another guy again. Therefore I am here hesitating. If I start a new relationship, I would want it to not be complicated. All I want now is something simple.
At times I want love in my life, but there are also times that I want to be alone in life. I don't deserved what I am having but I am too afraid losing them. Discrepancy.
WY was right, I shouldn't crashed him with hopes till I am settled with the past.
"I felt I don't deserve to be loved by such a good person.."
ReplyDeleteWhat i gonna say is dun be silly with this kind of thought.. If you think you are not good enough.. you can still improve yourself and give your best shot..Just that easy..
eh my name there omg... hahaha
ReplyDeletenow got another guy already! you have SO MUCH to update me on!!
ReplyDeleteannnddd..my advice to you would be, move on only when you know within yourself that you're ready. you don't wanna enter a new relationship with past baggage and you don't wanna carry with you emotions of the past.
(i was nosey and i clicked on your friend wei yen's link and discovered that she is best friends with may lim who is my friend too! =D )
i can't wait to see you!!!! you hear me or not!!
ReplyDelete