Lost

I am very lost. I am so lost. I am just lost. I am lost.



I am lost, in all ways... I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what am I doing. Let alone what to do and how to do. I no longer have the ability to rationalised my own behavior. I can only say that I'm suffering from some sort of disability, I supposed.



Things have changed recently. My life has changed too. There is an existance of an additional element in my life. This element has turned my life upside down. I no longer know how to handle my mind. What I am trying to say is that the centre of my thought is now concentrating on this element. I am losing my abilities and am unable to put things in the way it should be. This has to be changed. If I keep on behaving this way, I am going to ruin my life in just a snap of fingers. Therefore I'm suffering. And that leads me to a unstable state.



In the other hand...



I have not been treating people around me fairly. I've put aside many things. And it's not good for me to do that. It's unfair to those who cares for me. Especially my family. I am well aware with the consequences of my current behavior, yet I put no efforts to make any changes. My instinct, senses, nerves are not listening to my mind. I have gotta do something before it's too late. Dammit!!



I'm in an unstable and unsure state. I felt unsecured. Or maybe it's better to say that I've never felt secured.