一个人生活

最近的我实在是太脆弱了
动不动就想掉眼泪
那天看韩剧哭的稀里哗啦的
还把家里的人给吓了一跳
哎，‘金甲俳谐呐’（真的不好意思）
不懂是不是因为最近吃少了的关系呢
哇咔咔×SOT了

一个人生活的日子里其实我并不习惯
或许说我从来都没有去真正体会它
从来都不会一个人吃饭旅行逛街
没有人陪情愿自己一个人呆在家里
还好现代生活已经不太需要tangible的social network
手机平板电脑笔记电脑一一把社交居家化了
不用离开家里又可以socially updated对我而言这是好事
真是秀才不出门能知天下事～
×哇哇××我很宅

我多久没拍拖逛街看戏吃饭二人世界了
每次看到街上的小情侣夫妻心里真的很羡慕
常常会回忆过去的日子
想起就发现以前的自己还真的是太天真了
说什么过去的就让它过去
但是到现在还是会内疚和伤心
有时还会想说干脆就不要感情了
找个优良品种借精生个小孩就霸了
可一个人孤单单又太可怜了啦
×好纳闷

无厘头的我竟然想出一个租借男友的的念头
想说大家就互相解解孤单愁吧
但是一见钟情日久生情的我应该到最后会伤害到对方
想想应该是行不通
所以说我如果在宅下去很有可能会孤独终老
×太可怕了！×××××

一个人真的好难过
所以下了决心×哦嘢×生活一定要改变
什么都不管了啦
自己开心就对得起列祖列宗了啦
×我要开心！！


夜了，该睡了
晚安
贝贝

×我想要改变自己改变世界～王力宏

Looking back, Moving Forward

#hashtagcrazy #noedit #slimmerface

Met with a special friend last night for dinner.
It took me a lot of courage to meet him once again after two years.
Because he is the ex boyfriend.

It felt so different compared to whom I've been with two years ago.
I barely recognized him as we proceeded during the three-hour dinner.
And that makes me feel so bad, so bad.
If I hadn't done what I did two years ago, his life would be different, mine too.

#hastagcrazy #miniontoy #mcd #peoplegoingcrazy #nolongerhappymeal

We were a happy couple back then, both of us showered happiness to each other.
But due to some reason, we couldn't make it through, rather I couldn't make it through.
And now we are two 'strangers' who shared a good memory.

Personally, I don't fancy how he has changed. I was surprised finding out.
(He probably felt exactly the same for me, but that's not my point)
I felt bad for optimism.
His change wasn't anything bad, but to me (not saying that I am high class >.< ), they were least to what I'd expected.

Mr.D told me that I have chance going back to him since he is single and now I am meeting him again.
I was afraid that I will fall for him because I am the love-at-first-sight girl.
If he impresses me badly during the dinner, I would really tackle him. ( I am confident of hitting the jackpot!)

It didn't take me long to realized what was given up is not worth looking back.

#hashtagcrazy #chocolatechipsbananamuffin #shreddedchoctopping 

Baking, baking, I love baking. Looking forward to every chance to bake.
Turning back is just to ensure every step made was better and wiser,

#hashtagcrazy #goodbookmaybe #prizewinningbook

Life goes on after each fall.

Auf Wiedersehen

BeL

Honesty, is not good, sometimes.

In today's society, SERIOUSLY, being honest is not a good thing, and I mean it. So from now on, I am not going to be honest. Not to say telling all lies but keep it to myself or maybe one or two WHITE lies.

I went to an interview. The HR lady was really nice. In fact I was one hour late for interview because the stupid gps sent me to the wrong place. During the interview, she didn't show any hard feelings for me being late, so I kinda opened up on everything she asked, not a bit of cover. Maybe I was too naive not to be able to see through the mask, but she was really nice during the whole interview. Initially she wanted to offer me another higher post but it didn't seem like I was keen.

Waited for two days still no news. I gave up, surely I wasn't the one. Damn sad and depressing! I kinda wanted the job because there are a lot of "ang mo"(westerners) working there!!!
Day 3, I got a call after lunch. Was so thrilled picking up the call, my heart was like 'pi pok pi pok' pounding. Turned out that the nice lady actually referred me to their sister company for another position. Web-admin!?

I would be just happy for the post I applied, but why.. Such a turn off man! Anyway, I'll still go for the interview just for experience, unless they are paying me good. Hmphh!

The moral of this story is:
Honesty is a good value, but in reality being honest can screw life. And that's why white lies exist isn't it?
She turned away and turn back again to give me a smaller fish. Still I am grateful. :')


Auf Wiedersehen
Tschuss

My Month -- May

I love May and I always do.
Somehow, I didn't like this May. It's hurt me so much.

I turned down a great job opportunity only because the company wanted to confirm me after having the trial run for the post. My family wasn't very pleasant with this way, so I had no choice but to give up even after all the hassle and effort I've gave in during the interview. This alone has enough power to blow up all my happy energy charged at the beginning of the month. But life still goes on, just hold on it and sun will shine after storm. :')

There were times I wished for rerun. I wanted to go back to my secondary school life, back to college. I was even naive enough to hope that God saw how the earth has been destroyed and had to restore it back by rewinding time. Such a fairy-tale-minded me.

Again, NEVER MIND. There is no point to vent out all the negative energy to upset the self and others. Best will be looking at the bright side. I turned down a job that I'd longed, then I got a call from another co after that. I paid for a double cheese burger but gotten a mcchicken, then they compensated me with a double cheese and french fries. Sometimes life isn't as bad, it is the matter of how we take it. I believe every event is a test to a better self.

The STAR event on May will be:

My first fully frosted cake for me and my mom. I felt bad baking myself this cake because for mom and bro's cake, I did only top-frosting and side-frosting. I made myself a 4 layer "top-side-frosted" cake. And to be frank, this is the most expensive cake I've done. Chocolate and cream aint cheap, since I only use branded stuff here. The good thing is, I made a cake that my family would really enjoy because they are chocoholic but I don't really chocolate. This cake is sinfully chocolaty in every possible bite. I'd say, damn good! even with my poor baking skills. Darn, screw gym and badminton!

I am not longer the me from the past. Believe it or not, I've changed from inside to outside.

If God would grant me one wish, I'd say please let me, grandma and my family live happily. I know I wished for some other things before I blew the candles, but nothing is more important than this. 

I am tired, let's sleepy and put the past aside.

Good night 25yo me. I love you more than anyone will do.

*heart heart heart*

April fooling month

Guten Morgen!
I wasn't in the mood for blogging, I had the urge but the little devil me said no.

Life wasn't great for the past two months, I am just glad waking up every morning. Many people has been greeting the very beginning of the month on FB like "Goodbye February, Hello March" or "Hello March, please be good to me".

April hasn't been good to me yet. First it was a big big big family problem that lasted for almost one week. I hate being sandwiched in between anyone. I'd rather being the issue because it's hard to be pitiful towards family members. How good if it was an april-fool-joke.

Second, I've been ignored by a very important person. Complicated, but the point remains me being neglected. I hate changes, rather to say afraid of changes. I can be a very adventurous and playful person, but am stubborn when it comes to emotional and personal issues. So if you want to change what me and you are having/doing/going thru, please let me know. Don't make me guess, guessing isn't fun in some cases.

it's me and my little boy~ little red bean

Coming after that is my baking. I hate hate hate baking cakes that require no egg whites beaten. They went flat and hard, not soft not fluffy at all. Please, I need a baking guru to stand behind me. While beaten-egg-white cakes were so far so great in my hand, really good.

ich latest attempt, GREAT SUCCESS! hooray!

ich first attempt on KUIH because we had so much of cassava~

totally utterly delicious!

There hasn't been a single word for all my job hunts, it's like throwing stones into the sea. I guess I need to leave for SG soon because it was said to be easier getting a job with SG contact and address. I wanna go so many places, do so many things but I am so limited in terms of courage. Anyone mind sparing?

There goes my two weeks of April, I hope the rest of April will be peace and calm. No more thunder storms, my boat is gonna sink!

Auf Wiedersehen und Guten Tag! (haha! was that french?!XD)

2013! -nomorebrokenheart-

Hello February! Hello 2013! I just woke up and realized it's already a new year.
This year is going to be something because I am turning into 25!
No I am not happy with that because I am old now.
How funny is it that I wanted to grow up faster when I was young, and now I wished I would stop growing up!
Lalala~

It's a brand new year and one month has already passed.
Did I make any resolutions? Nope.
I thought making them is easy but fulfilling them is the other story.
Saw someone said, making resolutions which are easier to fulfill.
Nah, it's still the same. If I have no intention/will/mood, I'll still fail.
SO!, I came up with no-target-2013.

I've made a lot of thinking lately, yes, I always made-a-lot-of-thinking.
Things that I've longed, I seemed not wanting it so soon.
Like getting a baby, getting married. I started to see angles that I've overlooked.
It's always easy to say than to do.
Instead of a yearly resolution, I want to do a 5 years life planning now.
A real one, one that I will want to make it happened.

I still need to plan and think and read a lot.
A 5 year plan is not easy. I'll be 30 by then, almost half of my life gone.
Oh, one thing that I need to complete in 2013 is that I'll make myself read at least 1 book each month.
A thick or a thin book, it still counts. So far, I've done 2. Reading is good. :目
It's 1st Feb, and I am starting a new one. Yeay~!

I've resigned from my current position and am searching for a new position somewhere far far away.
I've been reading very "rajin-ly" (diligently)
I've been eating less, exercising more. I've gotten muscle on my arms now.
I've been a good girl. :)
I've chopped my hair off~!
Yeay me! Yeay 2013! Yeay everyone!
Fighting~!!!

CNY CNY~!

Auf Wiedersehen~!!

Merry Christmas 2012

So, the sky didn't fall after all!
It's 25/12/2012, we survived through the "doomsday" and it's christmas!!!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

Jiang~! 

After 3 failures, finally this one turned out good and made it for Mr Chi's birthday! Pheww~ Marble-top Light CheeseCake. Loveat! It was really good, definitely making it again!

Wish everyone have had a great christmas!

Guten Tag!

Bel